Non Running Significant Others

[endurox]

Interesting point. LA..runner before you met vs not. I was always into running for fitness so it was never a problem in relationships, but had I been racing on weekends would that guy I sailed with every weekend once in awhile watch and then go later to sail..hme.. Once I got into heavy racing training I was single anyway so never had to contend with anything and my running friends, family and non running friends were my support and inspiration. If they ask "how far is that marathon you are training for" "is that gel used for your hair" "why would you even bother doing that"..I politely explain and if a dull look comes across their face....I move on. Running is truly a lifestyle and I connect better with other athletes.
Jo Jo..You are hilarious.
I try to fun fast to keep up with men that have nice legs

Cathy

[dwayne_runs_far]

Like Krista, Lisa and others, I too have a former spouse that didn't get it. There was a period in my mid 20's that I started to run again as a 'me time' activity. I wasn't interested in racing, just running. For various reasons, I dropped it because of the friction it caused. When I started running again in my 30's it was when I was ready to drop her

Fast forward to now; and I'm with someone who not only runs, but is truly supportive of the extremes that I've chosen to take it. I give Natalie all the credit of my success in my first year of ultra training. She was there kicking me out of bed on days when I didn't want to go run again; drove out to the middle of nowhere with me to drop water bottles and was standing around for 12 hours in the bush while I ran loops in the woods.

It works the other way too. I have a great time being the sherpa at the start area, being the photographer and bringing the water at the finish. When she runs her first marathon, I'm going to be the best cheering squad possible!

Dwayne

[LadyV]

Only allowing yourself to eat after you have exercised

I have tried eating before, but is it more "balanced" if we do this and p*ke??




Frankly, I am guilty of all the symptoms, therefore officially obsessed (this article might have been written by disgruntled spouse

[BJH]

really disagree with this one:

Scheduling your day’s events around your workout session

How else are we to get everything done in a day that needs to get done?

Mid week, we usually have a conversation along the lines of "so what workouts do we each need to get in this weekend. And do we have to be anywhere else." I don't see a problem with that.

[scrumhalfgirl]

I'm very lucky to have such a supportive husband. When we met and started dated, we were both playing rugby in quite a serious way. I was already coaching, and he took it up as well. Rugby consumes an insane amount of our time. Some of our playing/coaching we do together, other times it is not. It certainly is done at a sacrifice to our "together time".

When I retired from rugby after 2005, it was a big void in my life. Socially, time-wise, and from a physical activity point of view. And it was very hard, because Denis was still playing. Running gave me back something active that I do for myself, and I've been mostly able to balance it with the time Denis and I spend doing rugby together, and during the times that he is at rugby alone - I have something to do as well.

Though Denis is not a "runner", being a personal trainer, he works out - and will even go for the occasional run with me, which we both enjoy. He's faster than I am, but I can run further. He has come to several of my races, taken photos, and cheered me on. He likes to hear me obsess about my training, and listens to stories that start "Someone on Running Mania said..."

I'm very excited, because I've convinced him to cross over to the Dark Side this year, and he's taking coached swimming with me, even though I know it is a big challenge for him. I'm so excited for racing together this summer!

[La]

Dwayne, do you have a clone who is single and lives in Toronto?

[Gear Boy]

Dwayne, do you have a clone who is single and lives in Toronto?

For some reason I'm now seriously thinking about starting a new thread - "Match up the Single Maniacs".

[hyajil]

Dwayne, do you have a clone who is single and lives in Toronto?

For some reason I'm now seriously thinking about starting a new thread - "Match up the Single Maniacs".

You don't even need to, look how many hook-ups have happened already

[waynerdog]

...so apparently it's o.k. to go from 5K to 10 miles with no training

Really, though, that's about the coolest story I've ever read! Awesome!!!

[mcshame]

I wonder if there's a difference depending on:

a) whether you were a runner before you met, and
b) whether the running/non-running spouse is male vs. female

Just throwing this out, are husbands more supportive of their wives who take up running later on? Or are the wives more supportive of their husband's new "habit"?

Discuss.

I was not a runner before getting married. Actually married 10 years prior to starting running. I am lucky, Michelle has been very supportive but the costs of the equipment were a surprise to both of us and a topic of "discussion". I would have never gone to play golf every other weekend spending our money ahead of the family needs but it didn't equate that running could be similar (not nearly as expensive, but not trivial).

She's very happy that my health is in order and thinks tights look good on me . And she kicks me out of bed in the morning to run (more likely because the alarm went off).

Just a time management thing, got to make sure the family doesn't get the raw end of the deal because of my running. It's working so far

[a_beacher]

My husband is wonderful. He is a non-runner that listens to me ramble about races, routes, gear, weather etc. I'm currently staying at home with our 2 young kids so money is budgeted carefully. As we all know races and gear are expensive. However, my husband knows that running makes me happier & healthier (to name a few). His words.... "it's a good investment".

[Amber-Leigh]

My husband has just recently started to join me for the ocasional run (he can go for a 10K without any training ). He doesn't love it as much as I do, but he makes the effort to share it with me when he's up for it, and I truely appreciate that.

Sometimes he teases me about going to bed early on a Saturday night or going out at 4:45am to get a run in, but I know he's joking.

And on the other hand I enjoy a lot of his hobbies and make time for them and allow him to take time for what he loves. Hey we are going to Ohio in March for a UFC fight night. Thats a sacrifice if I've ever heard one

[Jo-Jo]

[quote="She's very happy that my health is in order and thinks tights look good on me . And she kicks me out of bed in the morning to run (more likely because the alarm went off).

[/quote]

I can relate to being kicked out of bed...my dh who doesn't run has been known to say.."hey...you're sleeping in ...time for your LSD"

Gee...thanks dh...I think

[dwayne_runs_far]

Dwayne, do you have a clone who is single and lives in Toronto?

I'll check if he's available or not. Just forward me the finder's fee

Dwayne

[hmacdonald]

Very interesting thread. I wasn't a runner when I met my husband, but did do a lot of walking for fitness, and also belonged to a gym. I also started my MBA shortly after meeting him, so that occupied a HUGE amount of my time. I wasn't yet finished my MBA when we had our first child... so again, a HUGE amount of time was occupied by a new baby.

I didn't start running until a year or so after our second child was born, but I had still been walking and exercising, so the time spent on exercise was still the same.

My husband isn't a really demonstrative type who would come and cheer at races or get really excited about my running accomplishments. On the other hand, when I am doing my long runs on Sunday morning, he takes care of the kids and doesn't fuss or complain about it. He does show some interest in what I am doing, and although he doesn't say much about it, he does understand how important it is to me.

Sometimes he gives me the little push to get on the treadmill at night, or to go out for a run. He knows that I'm as crabby as can be if I don't get my runs, and he would rather sacrifice a bit of time than to have a cranky (he says "crankier") wife.

What's good for Mum is good for everyone! Mike raised a good point. If I was taking the time to run, and was working really long hours, and was going out with the "girls" regularly etc, etc, etc, it might be different. But for the most part I plan my runs to minimize the inconvenience to the family, and we don't have a lot of other hobbies or distractions. And hey, this habit keeps me healthy and reduces my stress levels.


Heather

[trixiee]

Very interesting thread. I wasn't a runner when I met my husband, but did do a lot of walking for fitness, and also belonged to a gym. I also started my MBA shortly after meeting him, so that occupied a HUGE amount of my time. I wasn't yet finished my MBA when we had our first child... so again, a HUGE amount of time was occupied by a new baby.

I didn't start running until a year or so after our second child was born, but I had still been walking and exercising, so the time spent on exercise was still the same.

My husband isn't a really demonstrative type who would come and cheer at races or get really excited about my running accomplishments. On the other hand, when I am doing my long runs on Sunday morning, he takes care of the kids and doesn't fuss or complain about it. He does show some interest in what I am doing, and although he doesn't say much about it, he does understand how important it is to me.

Sometimes he gives me the little push to get on the treadmill at night, or to go out for a run. He knows that I'm as crabby as can be if I don't get my runs, and he would rather sacrifice a bit of time than to have a cranky (he says "crankier") wife.

What's good for Mum is good for everyone! Mike raised a good point. If I was taking the time to run, and was working really long hours, and was going out with the "girls" regularly etc, etc, etc, it might be different. But for the most part I plan my runs to minimize the inconvenience to the family, and we don't have a lot of other hobbies or distractions. And hey, this habit keeps me healthy and reduces my stress levels.


Heather

Yup... that about sums it up here, too!

I asked hubby just yesterday, if he would prefer I stopped running and stayed home more, and he said "just keep doing what you're doing. You're obviously doing something right!"

[runjanerun]

Well, after ten years, I think my husband figured out that my running isn't going to go away, so he has basically accepted it and tolerates it. He really isn't interested, but I guess he has become used to me taking off on weekends to go to runs, or leaving at 7 a.m. for a race and coming home around suppertime (because for me running is also a social activity involving shopping and eating).

He will occasionally ask me how the race went but not every time. I've driven myself up to Ottawa, stayed overnight, run a half marathon and driven myself home, and never been asked how my race went. We always take pictures when we go away to races but he doesn't really care to see them. He isn't interested in coming to the races and cheering for me - although he WAS there at my first marathon. The few times he did go he didn't like it and it didn't bring out the best in him. He even stated that he found at my races "it was all about me" and I don't think he could deal with that, for some reason. So for this reason, I prefer that he not be at my races either.

The way that I look at it is for the first 20 years of our marriage, he played golf (for several summers he did this every day after work because he had a membership), he played hockey on Friday nights and he went to Karate three times a week. He also volunteered with Special Olympics a couple of times a week. These weren't all at once, but were over the 20 year period. But it was not unusual for him to be out a couple of evenings a week. He always had his interests and I had the girls to look after. My life centred around them and I was usually the one at home. I got to go out to the occasional Tupperware party or something like that and Friday night grocery shopping was my exciting weekly outing.

Well, when the girls got older and I figured out there was more to me than being a mother and I started running, it was a life changing experience. My friend Sandy says that I am a totally different person today than I was ten years ago BR (before running).

It doesn't really bother me that my husband isn't interested in my running or running with me (he did do that for while in the beginning). As long as he doesn't tell me that he doesn't want me doing it anymore. Giving up running is NOT going to happen.

[Stephan]

Mine was and still is supportive, running replaced some bad habits for me. Even through the struggle of this last year, running was the only saving grace I had. She used to hand me my running shoes on my bad days...."Here you go Stephan"


The only thing that I can see her being upset about is seeing me lose a tremendous amount of weight in a short while and she had trouble losing just a few pounds.

She does complain about the sweaty clothes and she is not into the sweaty hugs.

[D-Man]

:note to self: marry a runner... I just have to make sure that she's equally fast and/or slower than me...

[runjanerun]

:note to self: marry a runner... I just have to make sure that she's equally fast and/or slower than me...

Just as long as she doesn't leave you in her dust, D-Man??? It's hard on the male ego when the women can run faster!!

[endurox]

You go girl (Jane). Good for you for doing this for yourself! You have lots of running friends out there that support you

[Strider]

I am one of the lucky ones.
When I started running, and was getting serious, Mrs S was tolerable, but maybe a little unsure what it was all about.
When I made the switch from evening runs to morning, it made home life a lot simpler.
Fast forward to last year when she started running, she slowly got the bug. She has made such great strides over the last couple of months, and I think finally doing the 5k in Houston, where she raced by herself, for herself and realized what the term, "It is suppose to hurt, this isn't a training run" is all about.
I could go on and on about the support I get from her, but I don't want to bore you. We are planning more trips around races, where we can both participate and cheer each other. This sport has made us closer for sure.
Now if only I could get her out to cheer us on for the Hypo-Half on Sunday - but I think those -22* temperatures will kill any hope of that happening

[Jaimer]

This is an awesome thread to read, and there are so many different combinations! I would like to present a bit of a weird one too...

Scadian and I didn't run seriously when we started dating, but we were both forced to exercise for work. About a year into it we started training for a Half together, and have been into it ever since. I think though, that we have our own challenges, and they AREN'T that we don't get to spend enough time together! We work together, at almost the exact same job, in the same building, 2 offices down. We have done most of our military courses together. We are going to Afghanistan together, and have done all the work-up training together. We obviously live together, and most of the time we train together. This can be TOO MUCH! Sometimes it's nice to have separate interests, and some time to do your own thing! So now what usually happens is that even if we carpool to the gym, he takes to the cardio room, and I run laps around the fieldhouse.....

[waynerdog]

:note to self: marry a runner... I just have to make sure that she's equally fast and/or slower than me...

Just as long as she doesn't leave you in her dust, D-Man??? It's hard on the male ego when the women can run faster!!

Ummmmmm, I seriously don't think I'll ever run faster than Deena Kastor (or the many thousands of women who can kick my butt in a race on any given day). No ego issues here. The only person I compete against is me.

[waynerdog]

So as I've become less of a fitness/casual runner to more of a racing runner, there have been some bumps in the road. However, mommyrunner was incredibly supportive and actually nudged me into my first half marathon clinic in the summer of '05. Truth be told, the first road race I actually did was an 8k in January '05, and mommyrunner did the 4k run the same day.

Anyway, shortly after the first half marathon, baby waynerdog came into the picture, so mommyrunner was a bit occupied with him. I did another half marathon a month after he was born (in October), the started training for the Vancouver half in January. Before we actually set off for Vancouver, I started marathon training and mommyrunner joined a half marathon walk clinic. She recently completed a 5k clinic, and we ran our very first race together from start to finish (Resolution Run). Right now I'm pace leading in a marathon clinic, and mommyrunner goes out and runs with the 10k clinic on Sundays and does runs on the 'mill at home other days.

So basically it hasn't been a solo thing for me. Mommyrunner isn't a marathoner (yet), and may never be, but she accepts my commitment to my running and she seems to be getting the bug more and more herself. (Right now she's actually talking about doing the half marathon run clinic starting in April - YAY!!!!!)