I guess at some point it becomes about more than just chasing PB's and BQ's. I think that's what happened for me today.
First of all, to the race!
For those of you who just want the numbers
4:10:13 good for 46 out of 124 in my category.
Now - the rest of the story
I headed down to Nathan Phillips Square and waited in the Sheraton Hotel to escape the rain that was beginning to fall harder and harder. Who should find me there but Robin and her friend. Yay! Eventually, after using the nice hotel washrooms, we headed to the bag check (WAY WAY WAY more efficient than last year. I know CRS works hard to avoid repeat disasters like that one.)
So despite being SOAKING wet (I had to sacrifice my Chilly Half jacket
) We were ready to go! The course was so crowded though. It took forever to get into my pace. Miraculously, the rain stopped, and at this point on the course, the winds were pretty calm! All was feeling good,and I got into my pace. The first 10K were slow because of the slow first 3K though. I was actually feeling amazing, but my paces were no where near what they were in the first half of Goodlife a couple of years ago (no downhill tailwind to ride!) Sub 4 hour was going to be close, but I thought I still had a chance. I was really afraid to pick up the pace though, because I was feeling I wouldn't be able to hold it. My happy pace was drifting too, even though my legs felt good. I reached the half @ 2hrs even - that was not in my plan, but was able to keep that pace mostly through 35K. At this point, it was obvious that the sub 4 was out the door, and I have to admit to losing some of my mental. I didn't even bother looking at my watch for the rest of the race. I honestly didn't know how I well I was running - but I was running. I really only stopped for the last 2 water stops, because I was feeling a bit nauseous - I'm certain from dehydration. But I started to feel better in the last 2K and just decided to keep running to get this bugger over with.I have decided I don't like this course. There are just too many switch backs, which can be demoralizing IMO. For example, I saw Robin coming back on Queen ST, thinking I must not be that far behind her, until I saw how far we still had to go before switching back on Queen. She was WAY ahead of me, and had a great race.
Anyway, upon finishing, I was feeling awful! I felt sick, disappointed, and wondering why the heck I bothered with all of the training. Then, a couple of girls came up behind me, and one of them said "I see you at all of my races, and you always pass me - you are awesome!" We chatted a bit, and indeed we had been in alot of the same races. I was starting to feel better. Then numerous congratulations from random people. Walking back to the subway, yet another lady came up to me and told me how good I looked in the race (she had been using me to pace off) You know this happens a lot to in races, I believe, because I'm quite distinctive, so when people see me on the course, they seem to remember.
By the time the food and electrolytes had kicked in, I was feeling more positive. I will say, though that my biggest disappointment is not my time, but rather the way my mental let me down. I will also say, that I am prepared to admit that I overestimated my fitness, and I should have been able to tell from the pace of my easy runs even, that I don't have the speed of a couple of years ago. I thought my endurance might carry the day, but I guess I overestimated that too.
Still.. For a little old woman 3 weeks away from her 50th birthday, I'll allow myself to be proud to finish another marathon half decently.
I think it's also time for me to pay it back a bit, that starts with leading the Half Marathon clinic starting in January. I'm ready to take my running in this direction. I like that it's possible for me to inspire people, and I've had many fellow racers at various races tell me I have. I want to keep doing this in a different way.
That's about it from this years STWM! Oh - thanks for passing the time with me at the start Robin - it made waiting in the rain easier!
You know I'm going to keep this bunny gig in mind! Maybe the 2:15-2:30 HM?
